A Non-Review: MORTDECAI

By Laurie Coker

Rating: N/A

A great deal can be said about a film that isn’t screened for the press. Perhaps the filmmakers believe it will draw audiences with its star power, as a sequel to a previously successful film, or as I am guessing is the case of Mordecai, starring Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow, the lack of a screening can be directly attributed to a movie, well, isn’t good. If we are to believe critics on the Rotten Tomatoes website, Mortdecai doesn’t even warrant a 10% positive score and while I don’t always agree with this scoring scale, what else can I believe?

Juggling some angry Russians, the British Mi5, his impossibly leggy wife and an international terrorist, debonair art dealer and part time rogue Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) must traverse the globe armed only with his good looks and special charm in a race to recover a stolen painting rumored to contain the code to a lost bank account filled with Nazi gold. (c) Lionsgate

Its trailers look ridiculous and I am guessing the film is indeed asinine – a bit like Get Smart meets Inspector Clouseau, and throwing in a bit of Mr. Bean. Alone these characters can bring on laughter, but together in one half-witted character, even played by the talented Johnny Depp, I’m thinking – YUCK! Depp often chooses off-the-wall characters, but one can tire of the same quirky, oddball smart idiot-types after a while.

I can’t put a score in the grade book for something I have not seen. I probably will not see it until it is on demand or on DVD. For the price of a movie ticket today, although I know Depp and Paltrow with be draws, I don’t think anyone should. I am opened minded to kookiness and would have attended a screening. I say that even knowing full well that I haven’t like the last few films I’ve recently seen and certainly not the last Johnny Depp film I went to.

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