DVD Review: MYSTERIA

DVD REVIEW:  Mysteria 
REVIEWED BY: CINEMA LATTE
GRADE:  0 OUT OF 5 REELS
RELEASE DATE:  July 10, 2012
DISC INFORMATION: 1 disc, color, widescreen
RUNNING TIME:  90 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:  Original movie trailer
RATED: Not rated, would probably earn a PG-13 for language and violence
GENRE:  Mystery/Drama
 
STARRING:  Robert Miano, Danny Glover, Martin Landau, Billy Zane, Michael Rooker, Meadow Williams, Peter Mack Richman, and Carlucci Weyant

Famous mystery writer, Aleister Bane, is facing writer’s block.  He’s been trying to write a new novel for the last two years and can’t seem to get past the opening words, “Fade In”.  Threatened to be evicted by his landlord for no rent and fired by his agent for no manuscript, Aleister’s life couldn’t get any worse.  Or could it?   When he becomes suspect in the murder of a Senator’s wife, he starts writing down the dreams and mysterious things that begin to happen to him.  Envelopes shoved under his door, phone calls, mysterious people paying for his rent.  Soon he finds himself writing one of the best novels he has ever written to date.  Can he finish his novel before the killer closes in on him?  The more he digs into the story the closer he gets to danger.

This is an award winning stink fest movie in my book.  It is a slow and painful attempt to pull off a mimic of a masterpiece like “Memento”.  The acting and the story telling just isn’t up to par to even compare.  The entire story is disjointed and becomes more so as the story unfolds.  

There aren’t any twists or turns and the entire movie is just painful to watch.  None of the characters are endearing and none of the performances are memorable.  The entire film feels like a waste of time to even watch and the pay-off is lame and delivered by some very flat actors in small bit roles.    

This one isn’t worth to own, to rent (not even at Red Box), nor to watch when it comes on cable.  It’s best to skip this one all together.  I don’t even think that there would be much point in making this a star at a gathering to make fun of bad movies.  It’s a complete waste of time and a sad disappointment given the talent that was at their disposal.

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